Category Archives: concussion

going too fast

Something that hasn’t yet gotten all the way better as I recover from this concussion is my ability to multi-task. One thing that happens now, that I consider a big improvement, is I notice when things are going too fast and I (usually) have the forethought to pause.

If I look at social media and I’m hit with the #metoo conversations, I might need to do some emotional work not to lapse into the darkness of being a survivor of sexual abuse/assault/harassment. That requires brain space. Then, if a friend texts and I reply = more brain. Add to that the tea kettle is about to squeal and I’ve got to get to work asap before a conference call and I get the overwhelmed sense that everything is going too fast.

When I get this overwhelmed feeling I recognize my brain isn’t like it used to be. Before the concussion, I would easily drop one or two things out of the top level of awareness. I might store something away to consider later, or I might not reply immediately to a text.

Since the concussion, if too much is happening at once, I lose the ability to easily prioritize. My triage skills are still too weak to manage many things at once.

Of course, we know that it’s a myth that multi-tasking is an efficient method of functioning in the world. But it’s also a requirement for functioning in reality.

In my speech therapy at Bayside Neuro Rehab, I will be doing some work to improve my multi-tasking skills. I’m looking forward to that. I also know that it will be to my advantage if I maintain an awareness of when things are going too fast, or are just too much. Even when (if?) I return to being able to manage (juggle) many things at once, it will improve my life if I can remember to regularly pause and breathe and center myself. Pausing is required now if I want my brain to work right, but I think my spiritual health will be stronger if I develop a good habit of going slower when slower is an option.

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Filed under #metoo, concussion, mindful living

addendum to my last post (post-concussion syndrome continues)

Feeling so much better, related to my concussion, as I reported in yesterday’s post, today I undertook what in the past would have been a joyful adventure of creation (and $ savings): meal planning and cooking for the week. It took longer than it would have in the past, but, I planned meals for the next week and a half, and I started some of the cooking.

I just found out, however, that after a few hours of this prep work, I’m not able to look at a recipe and know where to start. It’s hard to explain what it’s like, when my brain doesn’t quite work right. I can, if I go slowly, read it and understand it. It would require effort, however, to gather together the background thoughts that make it easy to know what steps come first. For example, as I’m typing this, I can tell you that gathering the ingredients together would be the first step. But it took some thinking to get to that point. Instead of “just knowing” what normally would be nearly intuitive, I have to stop and think and now I’m getting a headache. The post-concussion syndrome symptoms are still affecting my everyday life. It’s frustrating and discouraging.

But, as each of the therapists at the rehab center always emphasized: it’s better than it was. Even just a couple months ago, what I did today wouldn’t have been possible.

I’ll take a break and come back to it after I’ve rested my eyes and brain.

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Filed under concussion