still blog-floundering, what’s up with me lately

My friend Paula says we should just blog our hearts out (my paraphrasing, with great liberties). I used to write lots and lots and post it on here. But, that was before the days of “everyone has facebook.” I’m still not sure what I want to do here, though I know I want to lean less on facebook.

Moments ago, I posted some photos on facebook, and it felt weird. I used to share photos of our family’s activities all the time; it was super-fun! And, it’s true that most people I know use facebook. So, a lot of people I care about will see the photos of me and my daughters and our Christmas. Posting photos of my daughters on here feels strange, mostly. What is this blog for, then? I’m still not sure. Maybe just little updates?

I’ll give that a try, again…

I’m still recovering from the concussion I sustained in June, but I’m doing really well. I’ve “graduated” so-to-speak from occupational therapy, physical therapy, and soon will finish up with speech therapy and talk (emotional) therapy. I’ll continue with osteopathic manipulative treatment (“OMT”) and acupuncture for a while now, though at my next appointments I’ll be discussing with the providers how long they think I should continue treatments. (By the way, OMT is amaaaaaaazing and I recommend it highly!) My symptoms (headaches, a certain kind of confused thinking, trouble prioritizing, inability to multi-task) are much less frequent. When they come back, I know what to do to get better and a return to mostly-normal happens pretty quickly. For example, 5-10 minutes of eye and brain rest can get me thinking clearly and just about headache free in most cases.

I’ve stopped writing for the Bangor Daily News, which is a serious disappointment. I was told by someone on staff that opinion columnists who didn’t get enough clicks weren’t getting their contracts renewed. But, I’ve gotten a new regular writing gig about which I’ll share details as soon as my first piece comes out (yay!).

Finances are still quite tight, though bridge loans from my parents after the concussion have made it a little less stressful. Now that I’m able to work on the computer for much longer periods of time without causing terrible concussion symptoms, I should be back to work at the level where I’m not terrified every month about whether or not I’ll be able to pay my bills. It’s not close to how it was when I started writing about being “newly poor,” but it’s closer to it than I’d like. I’m perennially grateful my parents were in a position to provide the bridge loans to me. What I’ve been through with this concussion could have ended much worse if it wasn’t for my lucky birth circumstances.

As I think about and ruminate over how to use this blog, I’m thinking about my father’s annual Christmas letter. Each year, it’s truly a work of art. (There’s an excerpt from this past Christmas’ letter on his blog, here.) Maybe writing to an unknown audience as I do on this blog could still be an intimate space, I could write stuff like this but maybe rather than train of thought, I could put some more writing effort into it.

But, oh, I don’t know what I’ll do here.

In any case, thanks for reading this far! I hope to make posts worth your time in the future. :-)

me by the treet

miscellaneous mundanities

Thing’s I’d post on social media if I was still posting as much on social media as I was a few weeks ago (I’m seeing if I can use Facebook less (as a political act)):

  • My daughters’ schools are both very supportive of LGBTQ+ people. They are both communities where children and teens are exceptionally kind to each other, relative to my experience of children and teens when I was a nanny and/or child/teen myself. I suspect the two are connected. The more children/teens feel free to be who they really are — accepted just as they really are — the less fear leads the social lives of young people which equals more kindness. Just a theory.
  • The qualities I seek most in friendships are: trust that we can and will say “no” to each other, that we can and will ask for help, and that our actions — say, disappearing (not responding to or initiating contact) for weeks at a time — aren’t personal, we want to cause no harm to each other, we care and appreciate each other and don’t have to do any dances to prove it.
  • My concussion symptoms are decreasing at a faster rate than they have been — I’m able to do a lot more and my tired is more the tired of a single and self-employed mother rather than the tired of someone with post-concussion syndrome. I’m not better all the way, for sure, but I can manage the symptoms and learned so many strategies at Goodwill’s Bayside Neuro-Rehab center, I know I’ll just keep getting better and better. My daughters have noticed it and there’s a general air of joy in our home that hasn’t been there for far too long.
  • Today I bought a drink for someone in the Starbucks drive-through line (I was inside) and I loved how that felt. I’ve had strangers buy my drinks before and it’s always lovely. I hope the person gets a little boost of happy from the surprise today.
  • My last Bangor Daily News column will come out next week. I’m desperately sad that I won’t be writing a monthly column for them anymore, especially now that my symptoms are improving and I would be able to do it more easily. But, it’s not that they think I suck, it’s that the newspaper business is a crazy place these days and I’m just one of many casualties.
  • I’m getting a bad headache typing this (it’s the thinking more than anything) so I should’ve stopped two bullet points ago.