the beholder

Could be: wrinkled skin, quivery never-plucked too-dark eyebrows, funnel shaped sticking-straight-out ears, awkward closed-mouth smile with lips squinched creating shadows mimicking a moustache, ever-lengthening snarly nostriled hook nose, mismatched odd-shaped eyes, stringy thinning hair pulled back tight causing the appearance of a crew cut, deep dark pits of under-eye circles, shiny spots, desert-dry splotches, absent eyelashes, and moles like pebbles scattered across the pavement.

Or, it could be an attractive woman.

Depends who’s beholding.

7 thoughts on “the beholder

    • Thanks, friend.

      One of the things I think is most uncomfortable about being honest about the perceptions I have of myself is that so many people (not you) think I’m “fishing for compliments” rather than airing my thoughts so they’ll grow into something else.

  1. My hope is your thoughts will grow into full acceptance of how beautiful you are. I’m very familiar with the impulse to create long lists of flaws, and since your list of flaws is made up entirely out of thin air with nothing to back them up, it could be mine is too.

    • :-) Thank you. That’s what this post was meant to be about, exactly. How easy it is to see ourselves in this shabby (horrific) light but others might see things in an entirely different light.

      A while back, I had the experience of seeing myself “through someone’s eyes” in a way I hadn’t before. I touched that feeling of seeing myself as beautiful without even “except for” sneaking in at the end. It was lovely. I know feeling that way exists. I used to think it only counted if that knowledge of beauty came from inside me without the influence of anyone else. After this experience I wonder about that. Maybe having a person (or people) who make it possible for me to see myself that way is an important part of what I need in my life. It goes against everything I’ve always thought was true for me, but, I don’t know anymore.

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